Poems by Vern Fein

 

A recent octogenarian, Vern Fein, has published over 300 poems and short prose pieces in over 100 different sites. A few are: Gyroscope Review, Young Raven’s Review, Bindweed, *82 Review, River And South, Grey Sparrow Journal, and Rat's Ass Review .  His second poetry book—REFLECTION ON DOTS—was released late last year. 

 

EVENTUALLY…

 

Antimacassar—Crocheted doilies placed on sofa arm rests to

prevent men from smearing mustache wax and hair oil.

 

When I first lifted my beautiful bride

across the doorstep to bless the luck we did not need,

I thought of her pretty knee

as it held her garter I filched off 

and threw toward a gaggle of hopefuls.

 

I did not think, why would I,

of the knee replacement in our 70's

we endured, she with pain,

me with patience.

 

Tonight we walked our dog,

as my wife caned her way around 

one long block for the first time,

a triumph of sorts. 

 

"We've got to change that light bulb,” she said.

“Yes,”I agreed, “and put the lid on the seed can;

the squirrels are spreading them all over the garage.”

 

In the past, couples sat on their once plush,

arm-worn sofa chairs, waiting out dusk.  

She said:” Arnold, please straighten the antimacassar.”

“Okay, Agnes, is that smooth enough?”

She nodded once, after a silence. 

 

 

DRUSILLA 

 

What parent would name children after Anastasia and Drusilla,

Cinderella’s evil step-sisters in that iconic tale?

Anastasia was a poor choice I think, Grand Duchess quality,

too much dignity for a mean girl. But Drusilla, the perfect cad.

 

I looked up silly girl names and there were many,

some who actually had those monikers to my dismay--

Green and Autumn Harvest, hippie names 

honored Nature more than daughters,

(God--the original name of China Kantner),

Bluebell, the cheap ice cream, Desdemona and Ophelia,

thanks mom for the name of one strangled one, one suicide.

Bambi, I knew a young lady named that but it was not dear to her.

 

Oh, young parents, be so careful when you peruse those books of names.

Add ie to see how it sounds before you decide. Nearly wrecked me.

Vernie--always misspelled on medicine bottles as if I were a girl. 

 

Even a  cute nickname may hurt a tender heart.

Remember your own silly terms of endearment,

embarrassing if ever made public--Coochie, Honey Pot or Schmoopy--

you know exactly what I mean--so think before you leap. 

A whim of yours could be a social disaster for your child—

mocked in school, shunned on the playground.

 

But Drusilla stands--a perfect name for her wickedness.

So bad it made silly Cinderella into a well-loved name, 

which, I suspect, no one ever named a child, 

but not as bad as Bippity Boppity Boo.